Yeah, OK. A LOT of time has passed since the last time I wrote here and a lot of things have happened. In fact, so much time has passed that I barely remembered ever having written here, until someone kindly pointed out that they were waiting for an update! So it has been on my mind for a bit now and as the topic kept popping up from random people, I decided it was time to do something about it.
Maybe the biggest changes have been that I started studying again and I moved to another city. Not in that order. I became a university student again. I spend my mornings sitting with girls (yes, we are about 300 girls and maybe 4 boys) 10 years younger than me. Occasionally it drives me a little crazy listening to them, sometimes it makes me laugh, other times I get sad listening and observing them. More about that later, something is brewing in my head but this post is an update on my life, let's not get sidetracked!
I feel lucky. Most of all when I walk home alone in the evening after work or after a drink or two somewhere in the centre. I feel lucky to be living this dream that I had for so long. It wasn't the original dream but I think we all know most of the time the original dream we have for our lives changes many, many times along the road. New dreams come, some old go, sometimes they merge and sometimes life brings you into places that you didn't even dare to dream. I lived a dream in London and over those years. I feel incredibly lucky for the things I've gotten to experience. I dreamt in some amazing places, with some amazing people by my side. Some dreams I grew out of - I no longer want to save money to buy a horse, for example - some other dreams I had to give up on even though it was terribly hard. I lost the ability and will to dream when my fiancé died a bit over two years ago. Many of you know it, for some of you it might come as news. I felt pretty lost at that point, but fortunately he had given me some pointers on where to go if things were not to go the way we were planning. Destiny, maybe. For a long time he had been pushing me to go back to university so the need for something constructive to do, a reason for me to get out of bed in the morning, and his words at the back of my mind, I took the plunge and signed up for the entrance exam. And passed.
Here I am, studying early childhood education at university. I mostly love it, sometimes not so much. I live a life that leaves me very tired at the end of the day; I'm busy following lectures, going to work and at some point trying to study for exams. I have moved house again recently too, but fortunately that ordeal is behind me now; all the boxes are unpacked, except the ones that will probably remain unpacked until the next move.
Oh, and over the past year or so I've learned to dream again. My dreams are shy little creatures that are afraid of the sunlight, but they are there! Growing.
